A pickle in baseball is when a runner is stuck running between two bases because the basemen keep passing the ball back and forth. A pickle in the job market is internships. Internships are mystical creatures, something that every graduate talks about but few actually land. I have been a sea captain lured into the rocks by more than one seductive internship mermaid, and I know how to identify them in their various forms. Here is my guide to internships and how to survive them.
The What’s-the-point. This one looks like Ariel but turns out being more like one of the sisters that don’t have any lines. These start out very promising, you meet and like everyone and even get your own desk. Then the work starts, and you quickly realize you will be doing nothing more than organizing files and getting more copy paper. No actual job skills will be accrued but you will leave with a vague letter of reference.
The What-Free-Time. This particular internship is all the fun of a full-time job without any of the benefits or money. Due to the lack of salary, you will have to get a second job to you know, eat. At first both companies will be very understanding of the fact that you are working at two places and can only be awake 20 hours a day. Then things will start to fall apart as your internship starts piling on the work when say, an actual full-timer goes on vacation, and your other job realizes you are good at folding clothes and schedules you six days a week. Pretty soon your find yourself living out of a backpack and forgetting what your roommates look like. Get through this internship because it will land you a killer reference, but learn how to love caffeine.
The Experience-Necessary. This gem is all too common, and it will make your head spin. You will be put in the middle of the eternal question “how am I supposed to gain experience if everywhere I apply requires experience?” I don’t have an answer to this and if anyone does, please let me know. Basically, this is the internship that requires two to three years of professional experience. It is unpaid and it isn’t worth it. If you can even land the thing in the first place, you will leave with important connections.
The String-Along. Unlike the others on the list, this one at least is paid, which is how they get ya. From the get go, The String-Along plants the idea of the internship turning into a full-time job. Though it is paid it is only part-time so you will still have to hold onto that other job from before, yep you still haven’t shaken that. This internship is much more respectful of the fact that you need to make other money, which is a huge relief if you can get your other job to get in line. Over time you will watch interns come and go and realize that you won’t be made a full-time employee. It is cheaper to hire two interns than it is to pay benefits for one person. So therein lies the rub. This is a good one to hold onto because it is paid and you will make great connections, but it isn’t the career start you were anticipating.
The White Whale. Melville references aside, this internship is the end all be all. Though it is hard to find it does indeed exist. This is the paid internship at a place you love that leads to the job you’ve been waiting for. I have yet to land this particular whale but I’ve heard legends and it sounds wonderful. This is why we keep trying out different internships, to find the one that fits, a soul mate. Wading through all of the hard internships will be worth it as soon as you look into the eyes of the perfect one. That’s the dream.
Someone Call A Grownup 