Month: January 2015

Job Boards

Looking for a job in the 2o15 involves a lot of time on the internet. Yes, you should also be talking to people and trying to network and all that stuff, but good old fashioned applying is now done online. That means job boards. They are wonderful and terrible at the same time and I’ve taken it upon myself to review some of the most popular.

Monster

I have a feeling this site is great for employers but not as great for wannabe employees. The keywords they have are very specific so you can’t put in something like “writer” or “journalist” and have results. It may just be geared toward people in other professions, but for anyone creative it is not the place. Once I finally get choices, it’s all for the same organization, so there must be some sort of sponsorship happening. I think chugging a Monster energy drink would be more helpful than using this website.

Indeed

Indeed is my go to, I check it first every time I sit down to apply. It’s easy to search, you can put on tons of filters like “relevancy” or “date.” These make it easy to find new posts everyday. Most of the time the search is really accurate even when you’re vague, but every once in awhile it brings up completely random and unrelated jobs. This happens to me about once a week, and I don’t know if it’s just the algorithm freaking out or if the site is trying to tell me to give up on the careers I’ve chosen. Either way it makes for a strange time. Another thing to keep in mind is that because the site is so popular a lot of people use it, so that means more competition, which is good or bad depending on how confident in your skills you are.

Simply Hired

This is an odd one. It feels a little quieter than the other two. Probably because they don’t have ads all over the place like Monster (Bro, what are you trying to prove?). Another site that can bring up just wacky results. Today I entered “Writing in Portland” and it brought up a biologist in Boston. Of course I opened it, but quickly closed the tab when the number one qualification was a degree in biology, who’d have thought? Like Monster, you see a lot of the same company, which is always a bummer to me. Many of the posts lead to other job boards which is annoying. If I wanted to see what those sites had to offer I would go to those sites, but they have a cool logo.

Elance

I have many thoughts and emotions about Elance, and they are mostly negative. For those who don’t know, it focuses on freelance and short time writing gigs. Something that is perfect for someone who needs some extra cash. However, they make it so impossible to apply to anything that I give up once a week. You have to make a profile, and unless you check the correct boxes you can’t apply to the posts. So you go back and change your profile the way they want it and they deactivate your account for two weeks to make the changes. I’m not a technology genius but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t take two weeks to update a website. Of course all of this pain and suffering can be avoided if you pay $10/month for a premium account. Elance, if I’m looking for jobs that pay $25 for 2,000 words I can’t afford to give you money every month.

LinkedIn

Not many people know that LinkedIn has job postings, but it does. It makes it really easy to apply because you can connect your profile directly to a job post and even mildly stalk the person who posted it. In my experience, these posts are usually for people with more experience than this entry-level gal. So far I haven’t found any I’m qualified for, but it’s a good one to check.

There are many more, some that are job or region specific, and I’ve just gone over the ones I’ve used. Put your favorites and why in the comments.

Going out

I don’t understand the appeal of “going out” on the weekends. It’s one of those things like eating an entire casserole dish of mac and cheese in one sitting. It starts out exciting, is fun during the middle and then begins to suck. You spend time putting on make up and doing your hair, or whatever the male equivalent of that is.

The party doesn’t start until 10 but you find yourself dozing off at 6 so you put on some music and try to get pumped up for a fun night with your friends or co workers. Then you get to the bar or party and things seem cool. You catch up with your friends, get a beer and get the lay of the land. So far people seem to be having a good time. There’s a few people you know and then others you don’t, but the idea of making new friends is fresh and exciting. You boldly walk up to a group of people and start talking. Of course your dazzling wit immediately charms everyone and they begin to fall in love with you just like everyone does. Then the night goes on and people around you begin to get more drunk and soon your obscure Quantum Leap references aren’t landing like they did an hour ago.

So you return to the friends you came with only to find one of them is having an ex boyfriend situation and is crying in the bathroom. Another two hours are gone helping her and it’s already time to go home. The lights go on and everyone starts to pair up like they’re salmon needing to spawn before their short lives are over. You have a boyfriend so you just collect your belongings and head home.

Of course when you get home you realize you haven’t eaten since 5 because your night usually ends at 11, so you make yourself a snack, which ends up taking another hour and before you know it, it’s way later than you were intending staying up, and you still have to take your makeup off and go to bed. It’s not like it was in college, when you knew most everyone at the local bar and didn’t have to stick only to small talk for four hours. You also find yourself getting tired much earlier than you did three years ago. So not only are you tired and hungry, you’re thinking about your mortality and how age is a real thing that’s coming to get you.

Maybe some day I’ll get the appeal of a night on the town, but for the time being I would rather have my friends over for pizza, beer and a board game or movie. That is my natural habitat. Now, I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea. If you love going out and getting dressed up and meeting new people and going to new places, get on with your bad self. I will join you for the first hour or two and then make a sneaky escape back to my couch.

Taxes

The H & R Block commercials have started and that can only mean one thing, it’s tax season. Regardless of how you feel about taxes and how much you should be taxed, you gotta do them. That’s how they got Capone. It wasn’t the murder or moving alcohol through tunnels in the streets, it was tax evasion.

I know it can be scary to do taxes on your own for the first time, but it isn’t as bad as it seams. In fact, I don’t really mind doing my taxes, especially with services like Turbo Tax (state taxes are free this year, y’all! I’m not sponsored by Turbo Tax, but I wouldn’t say no.)

Now I say I don’t mind doing my taxes, but I have been audited once and narrowly avoided it again last year. It’s not that I’m careless or don’t understand how to file taxes, it’s that there are so many things to keep in mind. Do you go to school? (Yes.) Do you have health insurance? (Yes.) Can you claim any dependents? (I don’t think so.) Can anyone claim you as a dependent? (Wait, didn’t you just ask me that?) What was your favorite color when you were 9? (I don’t see why that matters.) How many times have you eaten rice in the last year? (Any specific kind of rice? I was eating a lot of white rice, but switched to brown.) Do you think Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter can work things out? (Probably, I don’t really know. Is this relevant?) Do you have opinions on the state of Yemen? (I mean, I guess so.)

Then, 2 hours later, you finally hit Submit and come out of a trance. The worst part comes next, the waiting. You’ve spent all this time, dredged up all the places you worked in the last year and entered your social security number into numerous boxes, and now you must wait for approval. Waiting for your taxes to be approved is like waiting to get into college. You know you’ve done all you can and you can’t change anything, but you can’t stop obsessing over whether or not you completed everything the right way.

It’s an intense process for sure, but it’s pretty cool to get some money. Technically it’s money you already paid to the government, but it’s still a nice mid-winter treat. So to all my 20-somethings out there, get your taxes done early. Don’t be like Capone, in any aspect of his life.

Resolutions

We are entering the third full week of January and I am just now thinking about resolutions. I’ve never been one for New Years resolutions. I would rather make weekly or monthly goals because I feel like cutting things into smaller bits makes them more manageable. Like cutting a steak, I like to cut down things that will improve me.

I can say, this year I’m going to work out and eat better, but unless I have specifics it won’t happen. For instance, starting today I’m going to work out for 30 minutes, five times this week, only eat out once a week and do my dishes before I go to sleep. These resolutions only apply for this week. If it works out, I will reinstate them for the week after. That’s the only way I’ll be successful because I know myself.

I love to bargain with myself. If I don’t work out on Monday I will tell myself that I will work out on Sunday, but I won’t. I know I won’t yet I let myself not work out. That’s why I set small, reachable goals for the day or week. I don’t have the self discipline to work on year-long goals.

I also am highly motivated by rewards. So if I don’t buy any food all week, I can get a pizza on Saturday. Or if I beat my mile time, I can buy a beer. I’m basically like a dog. If I know there will be a treat in my future, I am more likely to do a task. You could say, isn’t being healthy the reward or eating well? Yes, but that takes so long. I would rather have a pizza. It’s not rocket science, but it works.

Cheers to anyone who follows through with yearly resolutions, I salute you!

I’ll see you at the end of the week and we’ll see how well I did.

I’m why we can’t have nice things

My super hip boss has a mini motor bike he uses to get around the office. On Monday, some of the guys at the office asked if I had ever ridden it, and if I wanted to. I, in my infinite wisdom, said yes. Don’t get it wrong, there was no peer pressure involved, just a group of people who wanted me to feel included. So I hopped on and made it two feet before I smacked into the wall and fell over.

After my embarrassment wore off I realized my finger and knee were hurting pretty bad. During the next couple hours I watched my knee grow a nasty bruise as my finger swelled to three times its size. It stayed that way for a couple days and even now I’m typing this with one finger on my left hand. You might think this is a pretty extreme outcome to a casual ride on something made for children in an enclosed space.

Well let me take you back to the summer of 2011. I was back home from college and my friends Jordyn and Erin wanted to go to the roller rink for their birthdays. I used to roller skate a bit back in the day so I was down. As soon as I put on the skates I realized the last time I had wheels attached to my feet I was 5. This was made even more apparent as I started to go around and around to bad covers of Dave Matthews. I wasn’t terrible but I definitely wasn’t comfortable. Soon I sort of got the hang of it and found a rhythm as long as I didn’t slow down or stop.

Jordyn was a natural. She was spinning and going backwards, your basic Yamaguchi. I lost sight of Erin for five minutes, to be fair, I couldn’t take my eyes off the ground ahead of me. On a quick and daring glance up, I saw her sitting on the side of the rink. Worried something was wrong I made my way over to her. Of course I wasn’t able to slow down so I was planning on every so gracefully gliding into the wall.

Instead, I hit the bump where the hardwood turns into carpet and fell backwards. The next few minutes are a blur, but I’m told I put my arm back to catch myself, then started laughing at my fall. Erin tried to help me up but my arm stayed behind.

Jordyn was in nursing school so she went into full caretaker mode, asking me what hurt, if I could move, if I had hit my head. Though I felt fine, I couldn’t support my arm enough to stand up. The manager from the rink ran up and started asking me to sign things. Since I couldn’t feel my dominant hand I said, “I’m not going to sue,” over and over while another worker made me a splint out of newspaper and skate laces.

I was finally able to stand up and with skates still on, Jordyn wheeled me out as Erin carried my shoes. I was finally able to get into the car and Erin began to drive. Every turn and bump were excruciating but I didn’t start crying until I realized I couldn’t go into work at a restaurant that night.

After half an hour of waiting in the ER, the doctor told me I had dislocated my elbow and I wouldn’t be able to work for 6 weeks. He then gave me some pain meds and popped my elbow back in as I named every bone in the body.

I would like to reiterate both of these activities, roller skating and mini moto bikes, are meant for children, and I managed to spectacularly mess both of them up. I’m not even going to go into the time I dislocated my knee cap falling down three stairs. I assure you, the stairs are not steep or slippery, I’m just uncoordinated. I will find a way to hurt myself doing the most mundane tasks. What made me think I could do something cool?

I’m the reason we can’t have nice things.

Je suis Charlie

I’ve never written anything political on this blog, and I don’t intend to make a habit of it. But I write this blog for myself and today there are things I need to work though. Return on Friday for another episode of my podcast.

Today is a hard day to be a journalist. A satirical magazine, Charlie Hedbo, was attacked and 12 people were killed.

I don’t want to talk about the religious or political implications of the attack, I just want to mourn with my fellow writers and creators.

Argentinan comic Bernardo Erlich said it best, “The world has become so dangerous that humor is a risky profession.” 12 people died writing about the hypocrisies of the world, and that makes me sad. If writers aren’t awarded the freedom to say what they want to, nothing will ever change. Journalists, comedians, comics, and filmmakers are able to make people thing differently about themselves and the world, and if that is taken away, we open ourselves to even more abuse, injustice and evil. Where will we be in 20 years if we allow that?

I always strive to make this blog a place for positivity and hope and it is hard to find any of that in a situation like this. The thing that has brought me solace is the global response. People all over the world are holding vigils to send the message that this won’t make journalists back down. The world isn’t going to stop drawing, writing, filming and singing because of this. We’re not always going to agree with each other, but we have to listen to each other. It’s too dangerous not to.

There is no freedom without freedom of speech.