A few months ago I talked about the “No Response” from employers. This isn’t when you’re told you haven’t received a job, this is when you get no response at all after applying and interviewing. It’s a terrible limbo where you begin to imagine yourself working and excelling at the job, but you also can’t let yourself get too emotionally invested. That job is a cat and you are Schroedinger, at this point it doesn’t matter what happens you just need to know if you should be disposing of a dead cat.

The good and smart thing to do in this moment in time is to not think about the job. Just go about your business, eat, sleep, drink and buy a new cat, everything is normal. Keep applying so it feels like just another day. That is what the smart thing to do is. From reading these posts you should know by now I don’t always choose the smart option. Why did I buy a six-pack of Pumpkin Spice Blue Moon? Why do I go on Pet Finder and read all the sad stories when I know I can’t have an animal? Because I don’t like to make things easy for myself.

So instead of pretending like I didn’t have an interview two days ago and still haven’t heard anything, I start to imagine what I’ll need to wear to the new job and if it calls for a shopping trip. Is it in a new city or state? Then I’m probably thinking about how many boxes I’ll need to buy in the next few weeks. I even go over what I’m going to tell my current employers, and worry they’ll be mad. This is the unhealthy way to handle the waiting game, but by gum I can’t help but torture myself.

You see, I’m a planner, always have been always will. I’m the friend that texts you a week before we have plans to lock them down so I can mentally map out my week and make sure I’m prepared for everything. This is not a good quality for someone fresh out of college and mostly unemployed to have, but hey you work with the cards you’re dealt with. I can’t turn off my little planner voice that works overtime when there’s a potential life change on the horizon. So here I am, planning my imaginary and awesome new life at a job I don’t have yet.

The unknown is scary to everyone but especially someone that plans dinner a week in advance, thanks for these genes, mom. I’m just a high strung girl in a low strung world. Yeah I feel weird about that sentence too, but it’s staying in!